Guest Rant: Fisherman Pants

As if trying to blend into a different culture while traveling isn’t hard enough, there are, ironically, fewer things other than fisherman pants to really make you look like a supremely uncultured douche. It’s almost as terribly un-classy as going to New York City on vacation with your family, then sporting a brand new “I Love NYC” t-shirt the next day while STILL walking around the city. You might be able to get away with this at rock concerts, but only Motorhead or pre 1988 Metallica. If you go to a Nickleback concert, don’t even fucking think about it, your an idiot.

But back to fisherman pants…. We’ve all seen them while traveling anywhere outside of America. Strolling through a local market in the back streets of some small village a cute 20 something walks by wearing what seems to be a huge bedsheet/adult diaper loosely draped around her midsection. The only thing that could possibly make this worse is when her even more douchbaggy looking boyfriend walks up sporting the same diaper pants as well as a terribly taken care of head of dreadlocks that he just got done with his new “island friends.” I’m all for making our fun parts more accessible but not at the cost of seeing some old guys beanbag because he thinks he’s blending in to a culture clearly not his own. Whats worse is that even the locals don’t wear these ridiculous pants, they have no pockets, and wearing them doesn’t make you one ounce more cultured whatsoever. I hope the lack of pockets means you have nothing to put in them including your passport, which we all hope was stolen so you can never return to America you dirty hippie.

-Sentipede Soul


About Things I Loathe

I have a lot to hate about the world. You would too, if you were smart.
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