There is so much to loathe about these silly bastards it’s almost not even fair. Spandex, goofy streamlined Oakley glasses, mirrors dangling off of their helmets and the kicker… shaved legs. These nerds spend more money on their bicycle components than their girlfriend. This doesn’t surprise me though, their sexuality is already questionable (with the whole leg shaving bit.)
All of that is fine and dandy, but what really gets me is their lack of respect for traffic laws. Weren’t you the assholes preaching about sharing the road? Ok, we let you onto our roads, to pedal next to our vehicles. But as soon as we did that, we regretted our decision. Your condescending greener than thou attitudes make you some of the smuggest people out there. Dude I drive a truck, I’m sick of seeing your junk through your spandex. If you cut me off one more time as you hog the road, I am putting my gas guzzling pedal to the floorboards and running your live strong ass over.