The Roadrunner

No, I’m not getting into the white trash obsession with cartoons (i.e. taz tattoos and tweety/sylvester seat covers, that’s for another post.) I’m here to talk about that bastard the roadrunner, his smug attitude and that poor K9 the coyote. This guy needs to be taken down.

First, let’s talk about the coyote, Wiley, a very intelligent vermin. His cunning is unmatched by most. This guy should have attended MIT. His skills were so close to being perfected it hurt, it hurt like TNT to the dome. Had Coyote attended a university such as MIT, he could have fine tuned his rocketry expertise and avoided a number of cliff walls. The physics equations could have yielded a far greater number of roadrunner dinners. Alas, he was duped by a bird with a tiny brain. A bird who constantly scoffed Coyote’s shortcomings and stuck out his tongue in mockery.

Let’s face it, in all reality the roadrunner never would have survived the intelligence of Coyote. Roadrunners are imbecile birds, next in line after the Dodo. Coyote, you are a hero! Wear a helmet next time, stay away from the roller skates, make sure that fuse isn’t doubled back to yourself, and for god’s sake stop buying ACME, there is a class action suite with your name written all over it with those guys.

Honorable mentions for this post include the Trix Rabbit, and the drunk mexican mice from Speedy Gonzales. Don’t let those bratty kids get you down rabbit.

 

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About Things I Loathe

I have a lot to hate about the world. You would too, if you were smart.
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One Response to The Roadrunner

  1. beetlehope says:

    wow, so much hate for one blog. amazing!

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